Two weeks after my 17th birthday, I jumped out of my car with a new driver’s license in one hand and two keys grasped in the other. I headed into my local grocery store just after dark for a carton of chocolate ice cream.
I knew the rules of my newfound freedom. I walked with my head up to show confidence. I dressed in long shorts with a baggy t-shirt. I wore my hair down, so no one could grab my ponytail.
One hour later, I left the store, not with my favorite ice cream, but instead with two police officers escorting me safely to my car, thanks to a stranger’s recognition of a potential danger.
Since 2006 and the emergence of the #Metoo movement, millions have shared stories about experiences similar to mine. The movement, which empowers women to share their stories of sexual harassment and assault on social media, has since been backed by research.
One study concluded that more than 81% of women reported experiencing some form of sexual harassment, according to UC San Diego Center on Gender Equity and Health. The center produced a 2,000-person survey with a range of questions in January 2018.
While unwelcome verbal comments remain the most frequently experienced form of sexual harassment, an alarmingly number of women have faced more severe forms. Among all female respondents, 51% had been purposely sexually touched, 34% had been followed and 30% had been flashed. On the most extreme end, 27% of women had survived sexual assault.
But what more can women do to stay safe? Women hold keys between their fingers. Women try to stay home after sunset. Women avoid walking alone.
Yet women still experience harassment.
Therefore, conversations about ending sexual harassment need to include not just what women can do, but what men can do as well. Men must begin taking action by listening, learning, and speaking out against violence toward women. Men must begin taking accountability for their actions and inactions. Men must help create a safer, better world for women. Women’s lives depend on it.
I did everything right that Sunday night. But even with confidence, awareness and conservative clothing, a woman called the police on two men who had followed me around the store.
That night I became one in four women who experience physical sexual harassment. And if not for a woman noticing my discomfort and fear, I might have been a part of much scarier statistics.
Because for women, sometimes doing everything right is not enough.
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